Sprüche
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| Thought for the day ...... There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. Bremsen
ist das Umwandeln von wertvoller Geschwindigkeit in sinnlose Wärme.
Ich möchte im Schlaf sterben wie mein Opa, nicht so wild heulend wie sein Beifahrer ! Mopped ist nicht alles, aber ohne Mopped ist alles nichts Als ich klein war, glaubte ich, Geld sei das wichtigste im Leben. Heute, da ich alt bin, weiß ich: Es stimmt Wer eine gute, verständige und schöne Frau sucht, sucht nicht eine, sondern drei. Ehe: gegenseitige Freiheitsberaubung im beiderseitigen Einvernehmen Wer von ganz unten kommt, kann sich eigentlich nur verbessern Mein Bäcker sagt immer: Wenn du etwas von heute willst, musst du morgen wieder kommen. Es gibt zwei Arten von Freunden: Die einen sind käuflich, die anderen sind ------------ unbezahlbar Chinese sick leave - " I no come work today !!!" Hung
Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today,
I really sick. Got headache, stomachache and legs hurt, I no come
work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need
you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give
me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
Euroenglish European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the referred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter. In
the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v." During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou," and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. The Cuban dogs Three
handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful,
enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves
in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving
in front of her at the same time. The
males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and
hoping for just a glance from her in return. The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." Oh,
how childish, said the Poodle. That shows no imagination or intelligence
whatsoever. She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said,
How well can you do? "My,
my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just
as dumb as the Lab's sentence." She then turns to the last of
the three dogs and says, "How about you?"
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